


Stop and Stare

by forgetful01



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Other, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-19
Updated: 2012-03-19
Packaged: 2017-11-02 05:31:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/365472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forgetful01/pseuds/forgetful01
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sadstuck little drabble dedicated to the update because I have many feelings for Gamzee in the update</p>
<p>Enjoy!<br/>Inspired by: http://acrylicemulator.tumblr.com/post/19355165114/acrylicemulator-gamzees-been-mia-for-a-year</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stop and Stare

It was dark. It was always dark now, the indigo eyes had permanently become adjusted to the lack of light, his pupils dark circles wrapped in a thin layer of gold that faded to bloodshot around the edges. It was usually quiet too. Not a normal kind of quiet where it was relaxing and peaceful; it was a hushed and suffocating silence. Only those who had been stripped of their right to speak could endure these conditions. And mostly the Capricorn chose not to acknowledge it.

He had been dreaming. There was no way to tell the difference between night and day while he hauled himself up in hiding and it felt like he had been in the darkness for years. Maybe months. Maybe it was just a few days. He couldn’t tell. Time meant nothing, counting how many times Karkat came to visit him meant nothing, they were just numbers. Just like how twelve was a number. 

But as he dreamed, it was still dark. He could never tell the exact location of whatever dream bubble he had landed in, and most of the time it was much like reality. The dismembered heads sat around him in a circle, small little cups of some kind of liquid placed in front of them. And the heads could talk to him, smile and whisper. Their skin was peeling and the bright white had dulled to a light grey. Gamzee took no notice of the way the skin was pulled taunt, or how the mouths sagged in the corners. He could talk and be listened to. Equius never called him a disgrace anymore. He wasn’t allowed to talk; the clown took that away earlier on. Blue lips sewn up in frantic knots, he wasn’t allowed to speak. No one would ever speak to him like that again.

When he was awake was the worst. The differentiating realities could never sink in far enough for him to comprehend what he had dreamed and what was real. Dreams were he was laughing with his best bro were the hardest. He would grab up the head and stare, simply stare, waiting for the laughing to continue to show him that everything was alright. That Tavros wasn’t dead. And that it wasn’t his fault.

Despite it all, he preferred the company of the dead. It was strange in that way. They were always listening but they never spoke, they couldn’t hear him but they never stopped whispering around him. Each visit from Karkat always meant hiding them, but he never had the Taurus’s out of sight. And in that single comfort he could ignore the thin line of tears running down his cheek as he stared at the shadowed glassy eyes. And they always stared back.


End file.
